Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
