If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This is the high leading the old right now
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
