What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
