My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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