How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize