shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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