Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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