Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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