Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
