gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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