i jhust puked up my retainher.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
