quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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