hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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