At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
