I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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