Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
