I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
