3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
