Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
