I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
