How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
