I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize