Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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