My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
