The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
