woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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