You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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