I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
