I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
