i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
