Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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