even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize