Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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