Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
