Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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