if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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