Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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