how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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