TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
