he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
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no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
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The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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