I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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