i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
