Tell her she can't have a vagina
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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