Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
