I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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