he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
