is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
