He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize