note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
