Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
