bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
