we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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