he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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