Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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