she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
