I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
