well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
