I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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