Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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