I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
