okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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