My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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